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Penny Arcade

Funniest Joke of 2009

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#1 of 4

     Posted Oct-27 12:00 PM   
Jim
 
From  Jim  Posts 102  Last Nov-18
To  All      [Msg # 172974.1 ]    

completely non pc ... like I care <w>

J

--------------------------------------------

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

‘ My darring, ‘ he whispers, ‘ I know dis you firss time and you berry
flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting – juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want? ‘ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘ I want to try someting I have hear about from odda girls… Numbaa 69. ‘

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her, ‘ You want… Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?”
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#2 of 4

     Posted Oct-27 9:26 PM   
Rei
 
From  Rei  Posts 8048  Last 10:04 AM
To  Jim      [Msg # 172974.2 Message 172974.2 replying to 172974.1 172974.1 ]    
Should've ordered #77...      ;-)



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#3 of 4

     Posted Nov-4 9:47 AM   
Jim
 
From  Jim  Posts 102  Last Nov-18
To  Rei      [Msg # 172974.3 Message 172974.3 replying to 172974.2 172974.2 ]    

Should've ordered #77...      ;-)

LOL ...this one came in at 2nd place

A battle weary American soldier boarded a crowded train in in London during the early days of post-WWII, only to discover he was unable to find a place to sit. As he walked the length of the train, he noticed a small white dog curled up on one of the seats. A large, well dressed woman sat in the seat next to the dog. The man hovered near the seat, hoping the woman would take the hint, but she pointedly ignored him."Excuse me, Ma'am," the soldier finally spoke, "Is this your dog? Would you mind holding it on your lap so that I may sit down?"The woman raised her icy gaze to the young man and said in a haughty British accent, "oh! You Americans. You are so rude.Fluffy is in that seat, and i see no reason why she should give up her comfort for you."The exhausted soldier nodded, picked up the small dog ... leaned over ... opened the window of the moving train and tossed the dog out. The woman gaped and spluttered in horrified indignation, and the man sitting across from her lowered his newspaper."You Americans", he said to the soldier, "You drive on the wrong side of the road ... you eat with the wrong fork ... and you just threw the wrong btch out the window."

 

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#4 of 4

     Posted Nov-4 3:52 PM   
Sky
 
From  Sky  Posts 229  Last Nov-19
To  Jim      [Msg # 172974.4 Message 172974.4 replying to 172974.3 172974.3 ]    (Unread)
Reminds me of one I heard a long time ago -

There are four people in a train compartment at night during the German occupation of France during WWII; a German soldier, a pretty young lady, an elderly lady and a young resistance fighter. The train enters a dark tunnel and nothing can be seen in the compartment. Suddenly there is the sound of a kiss followed by a large smack. As they exit the tunnel and can see again it can seen that the German soldier is now sporting the beginning of a nasty black eye. The following thoughts go through the minds of the passengers. The old lady "Good for her defending her honor." The young lady "I wonder why he kissed the old lady and not me?" The German soldier "Lucky guy. He kisses the girl and I get slapped." The resistance fighter "Neat, I kiss the back of my hand and get to pop a German soldier without getting caught."


- Sky
"A specialist is one who knows more and more about less and less, until he knows almost everything about almost nothing."
See my photos at: http://skyockey.smugmug.com/
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