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5) Modern Mystics

What is a Family?

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#1 of 7

     Posted Sep-18 2:54 PM   
Wanda(S/LMystics)*
 
From  Wanda(S/LMystics)*  Posts 701  Last Nov-5
To  All      [Msg # 159283.1 ]    

All:

The face of the family in America is changing, a generation ago, the typical family was considered to be a married couple consisting of a father, mother, and 2.5 children.  Has this traditional family become extinct?  What makes up a traditional family in today's changing world values?

Does this change damage our traditional values?  Today there are single parents, same sex couples living together, with or without children, singles, widowed, divorced and never married singles, so what does Society consider the so-called traditional family today?    

If one is a single person living alone, does that person feel left out, and incomplete, in a couples world?  On a personal level, many years ago after a divorce, I felt so lonely and left out among all my married friends. 

That is until one Sunday morning after his sermon, the Pastor, during the Invitational*  was inviting families to come down, and all of a sudden, he followed with...Come on down "You-One-Somebody-You". 

I realized a One-Somebody-You is also a family, and it was at that moment, my insecurities and loneliness left me leaving a peace that remains until this day. All my friends are still married, and that's okay.

How do you define a Family?  Do we have traditional core values today, or has a new paradigm entered our lives in this new age?  Do you consider a One-Somebody-You can be a family?

*[invitation to come to the front pew for baptism, prayer and/or to join church membership]

Wanda

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#2 of 7

     Posted Sep-18 7:06 PM   
Tegan
 
From  Tegan  Posts 945  Last Nov-21
To  Wanda(S/LMystics)*      [Msg # 159283.2 Message 159283.2 replying to 159283.1 159283.1 ]    

I have a large extended "traditional family", many of whom I don't even know or see only at weddings or funerals. It's kinda hard for me to think of them as family. It's also hard for some people to call them my family because they are not my blood, I was adopted at birth into the family, so some people feel it's better to call them my adopted family. So I guess those people would consider the two families (out there somewhere)with whom I share a genetic tie to my family which doesn't make much sense to me. I am also divorced, and no longer consider my ex husband and his family my family. However, he and his family are still part of our daughter's family.

Personally, I feel I have many families. Those that I am related to legally/genetically, friends that I am so close with no other word other than family would suffice, my work family, and my online family. How's that for untraditional for you LOL! In my Italian heritage, I have always seen children call close family friends Aunt, Uncle, Cousin. (Not necessarily Godfather either <S>) So for me, family has always been, those in your life that you really can't do without and who can't do without you. I think perhaps, in your Church, the Pastor invited the You-One-Somebody-You's down was because they were part of a family, God's family of which we all belong.

No, I don't think the traditional core values have changed as much as they have evolved. It was the "traditional" values that kept women in abusive marriages that hurt not only them, but the children as well. We now recognize that that value had to evolve for the health and safety of these women and children. We are now beginning to recognize that it's about how you conduct yourself in a relationship and what you teach the children in that relationship that matters so much more than who you are in the relationship with.

Tegan

"Courage is faith in action, and the reward for courage is wisdom"

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#3 of 7

     Posted Sep-19 6:19 PM   
Wanda(S/LMystics)*
 
From  Wanda(S/LMystics)*  Posts 701  Last Nov-5
To  Tegan      [Msg # 159283.3 Message 159283.3 replying to 159283.2 159283.2 ]    

Tegan,

I like the idea of traditions 'evolving' instead of 'changing' that makes more sense, doesn't it?   I had not thought of the Pastor making the connection between a one somebody one being part of God's family, and not a family of one.  At the time, however, I think I heard what I needed to hear for my personal healing.

My uncle married a woman, who as a baby, was left on the doorstep, and raised by that couple.  And I felt my aunt by marriage's adopted mother was as much my grandmother as my own g.mother.

Agree that 'traditional' values kept us in abusive marriages, and so happy times have evolved to the point that we can be independent without the abusive partner's ties.

Would you agree that being part of a family unit are the emotional ties that bind one together as a family/

Wanda

 

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#4 of 7

     Posted Sep-20 7:47 AM   
WoodNymph
 
From  WoodNymph  Posts 21  Last Nov-3
To  Wanda(S/LMystics)*      [Msg # 159283.4 Message 159283.4 replying to 159283.3 159283.3 ]    

»being part of a family unit are the emotional ties that bind one together as a family«

Absolutely! I have blood-relatives that I would be happy if they dropped off the face of the earth... while I also have friends (relatives-by-choice!) that mean everything to me! Once in a long while, the two overlap, which is wonderful. <g>

B*B   Woody

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#5 of 7

     Posted Sep-20 6:59 PM   
Wanda(S/LMystics)*
 
From  Wanda(S/LMystics)*  Posts 701  Last Nov-5
To  WoodNymph      [Msg # 159283.5 Message 159283.5 replying to 159283.4 159283.4 ]    

>>I have blood-relatives that I would be happy if they dropped off the face of the earth... while I also have friends (relatives-by-choice!) that mean everything to me! Once in a long while, the two overlap, which is wonderful. <<

Woody,

Chuckling, we have the same thought patterns.

B*B

Wanda

 

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#6 of 7

     Posted Sep-23 6:59 PM   
Tegan
 
From  Tegan  Posts 945  Last Nov-21
To  Wanda(S/LMystics)*      [Msg # 159283.6 Message 159283.6 replying to 159283.3 159283.3 ]    

Hi Wanda

<<Would you agree that being part of a family unit are the emotional ties that bind one together as a family>>

Yes I would, and sometimes it can be one heck of an emotional roller coaster <g>

Tegan

"Courage is faith in action, and the reward for courage is wisdom"

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#7 of 7

     Posted Nov-5 12:32 PM   
Wanda(S/LMystics)*
 
From  Wanda(S/LMystics)*  Posts 701  Last Nov-5
To  Tegan      [Msg # 159283.7 Message 159283.7 replying to 159283.6 159283.6 ]    (Unread)

Hi Tegan

>>Yes I would, and sometimes it can be one heck of an emotional roller coaster <g><<

So true, have you watched the new TV lineup on Wednesday nights?  Shades of Archie Bunker, Edith, the ditzy daughter and Meathead replayed.

Hank, The Middle, Modern Family, Cougar Town, and Eastwick rounds out the evening of dysfunctional family fun.  Are we laughing at ourselves, perhaps? <g>

 Are the script writers changing the mores of America with humor the way Norman Lear (the Shakespeare of our modern age) did with Archie and Edith?

Wanda

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5) Modern Mystics

What is a Family?

  
 
     

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