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Burt & J.D. Blog

Assisted Suicide

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#1 of 40

     Posted Nov-2 10:53 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  All      [Msg # 74200.1 ]    

I ak looking for a volunteer to come to New York and enable me to commit suicide. You will be flown round trip, business class from your home town to NYC. You will be put up at the Waldorf for 3 days two nights. You must bring your own baggie (gallon freezer size). On your second night, whether to come down from your high or whether to overcome your mild guilt, you will have dinner with my lovely wife, then wisked off to a house seat at a Broadway show of your choice.

This offer is limited only to members of the NAIF. Employees or relatives of employess of Compuserve cannot apply.

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#2 of 40

     Posted Nov-2 11:45 PM   
Blake
 
From  Blake  Posts 2549  Last 12:41 AM
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.2 Message 74200.2 replying to 74200.1 74200.1 ]    
Well, I haven't signed the contract for next year yet....

Blake
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#3 of 40

     Posted Nov-3 12:02 PM   
JD
 
From  JD  Posts 5244  Last 10:08 AM
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.3 Message 74200.3 replying to 74200.1 74200.1 ]    
Will there be any leftover drugs?
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#4 of 40

     Posted Nov-3 2:50 PM   
Brooke
 
From  Brooke  Posts 9153  Last Nov-23
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.4 Message 74200.4 replying to 74200.1 74200.1 ]    
There is no business class from DTW to NYC. I demand First Class.

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#5 of 40

     Posted Nov-3 5:38 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  JD      [Msg # 74200.5 Message 74200.5 replying to 74200.3 74200.3 ]    

<<Will there be any leftover drugs?>>

You'll have to take pot luck.

Get it, pot luck!!?

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#6 of 40

     Posted Nov-3 5:40 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  Brooke      [Msg # 74200.6 Message 74200.6 replying to 74200.4 74200.4 ]    

<<There is no business class from DTW to NYC. I demand First Class.>>

chrissake it's a 2 hour flight.

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#7 of 40

     Posted Nov-3 5:41 PM   
JD
 
From  JD  Posts 5244  Last 10:08 AM
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.7 Message 74200.7 replying to 74200.5 74200.5 ]    

<<Will there be any leftover drugs?>>

You'll have to take pot luck.

Get it, pot luck!!? >>>

Dude...it grows *here*. You'll have to do better.

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#8 of 40

     Posted Nov-3 6:23 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  JD      [Msg # 74200.8 Message 74200.8 replying to 74200.7 74200.7 ]    

<<You'll have to do better.>>

If you don't pulling it out of my cold dead mouth.

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#9 of 40

     Posted Nov-3 11:22 PM   
Brooke
 
From  Brooke  Posts 9153  Last Nov-23
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.9 Message 74200.9 replying to 74200.6 74200.6 ]    
chrissake it's a 2 hour flight.

More like one hour. I probably can't volunteer, though, because I have to wash my hair that day.

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#10 of 40

     Posted Nov-4 11:59 AM   
JD
 
From  JD  Posts 5244  Last 10:08 AM
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.10 Message 74200.10 replying to 74200.8 74200.8 ]    

If you don't pulling it out of my cold dead mouth.>>>

Yuck. Deal-breaker.

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#11 of 40

     Posted Nov-4 6:44 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  JD      [Msg # 74200.11 Message 74200.11 replying to 74200.10 74200.10 ]    

<<If you don't pulling it out of my cold dead mouth.>>>

Yuck. Deal-breaker.>>

germaphobe

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#12 of 40

     Posted Nov-4 8:58 PM   
Sharky
 
From  Sharky  Posts 1053  Last Nov-24
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.12 Message 74200.12 replying to 74200.1 74200.1 ]    
>>You will be flown round trip, business class from your home town to NYC. You will be put up at the Waldorf for 3 days two nights.<<

There has been talk around the office that the cab company I work for might be going out of business, in which case I would have a lot of free time on my hands and very little income. So, what sort of time frame are we looking at here?
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#13 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 12:36 AM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  Sharky      [Msg # 74200.13 Message 74200.13 replying to 74200.12 74200.12 ]    

<<So, what sort of time frame are we looking at here?>>

Thanks for your interest. I would say I'll have a much better idea when I get the results of my biopsy next Wednesday.

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#14 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 3:08 AM   
DEKE
 
From  DEKE  Posts 7173  Last 9:56 AM
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.14 Message 74200.14 replying to 74200.13 74200.13 ]    
>>Thanks for your interest. I would say I'll have a much better idea when I get the results of my biopsy next Wednesday.<<

Best wishes to you Burt and I apologize for not being able to help you.  But after Ilsa and bill, Blake put a strict max of 2 killings per forum member and I'm at my limit.  

I've argued that it should be more like deer season and I should be allowed to kill so many people a year. 
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#15 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 12:18 PM   
Sharky
 
From  Sharky  Posts 1053  Last Nov-24
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.15 Message 74200.15 replying to 74200.13 74200.13 ]    
>>Thanks for your interest. I would say I'll have a much better idea when I get the results of my biopsy next Wednesday.<<

I just happy that you were able to live long enough to see the Yankees win a Worlds Series.
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#16 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 1:37 PM   
Brooke
 
From  Brooke  Posts 9153  Last Nov-23
To  Sharky      [Msg # 74200.16 Message 74200.16 replying to 74200.15 74200.15 ]    (Unread)
I just happy that you were able to live long enough to see the Yankees win a Worlds Series.

Yeah, he's waited a lifetime for that to happen. Perhaps those plucky Yankees and their miracle victory will encourage him to forgo this assisted suicide thingie.

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#17 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 2:28 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  Brooke      [Msg # 74200.17 Message 74200.17 replying to 74200.16 74200.16 ]    

<<plucky Yankees and their miracle victory >>

Yankees just can't win, can they? They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

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#18 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 2:34 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  Sharky      [Msg # 74200.18 Message 74200.18 replying to 74200.15 74200.15 ]    


<<I just happy that you were able to live long enough to see the Yankees win a Worlds Series>>

I saw them win at the stadium in 2000. Well, actually the people sit next to me were kind enough to explain to me they had won.

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#19 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 4:48 PM   
Brooke
 
From  Brooke  Posts 9153  Last Nov-23
To  Burt      [Msg # 74200.19 Message 74200.19 replying to 74200.17 74200.17 ]    
Yankees just can't win, can they? They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Eleventy trillion dollars should reap a victory or two. Plus, now you've got Goldie Hawn's daughter on your side!

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#20 of 40

     Posted Nov-5 5:43 PM   
Burt
 
From  Burt  Posts 8319  Last Nov-24
To  Brooke      [Msg # 74200.20 Message 74200.20 replying to 74200.19 74200.19 ]    

<<Eleventy trillion dollars should reap a victory or two. Plus, now you've got Goldie Hawn's daughter on your side!
>>

I think ARod has Goldie Hawn's daughter on her side.

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Burt & J.D. Blog

Assisted Suicide

  
 
     

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